I Didn't Know
by isis chandra wu
Summary: something is wrong with sakura...and syaoran is determined to find it out. but, things get a little twisted...
1. He's Back and He Mustn't Know

I Didn't Know

a/n: So this is like my first yaoi ficcie ever…so please don't go hard on me… and um, well, just read on!

warning: yaoi (but just a little bit)

Chapter I: He's Back and He Musn't Know

It was ten thirty-five when Flight 736 landed. Sakura and Yukito were waiting at the MAIA Airport. Someone special was on the way home. Very special.

Sakura felt herself blush in the deepest shade of red. She felt so bubbly. She wanted to shout, to run, to dance like a wild lunatic! She wanted the whole world to know that her major heartbeat was coming back.

As for Yukito...well, he kept his thoughts to himself.

Seconds later, a handsome blonde about five foot-nine walked towards their direction. He was garbed in Ck, and Gucci practically oozed out of him. He was like a model who jumped out from Vogue magazine, with that savvy style and those perfect set of teeth. He waved at them. "Hey!"

Sakura was, like, _Holy!_ She blinked twice. She ran to meet him, not knowing the embarrassment ahead of her. Oh, yes. The future was cruel.

The world suddenly played in slow motion. Sakura was about to make contact with his flawless skin, mouthing the name "Syaoran" when the guy jumped away from her. "Excuse me, miss..." He muttered, walking away from her and hugging and kissing two brunettes. And I don't mean women. (snicker)

Sakura ran to the bathroom to find comfort in the person of a toilet bowl.

Minutes later, a roguish punk with spiked purple hair and in a fishnet shirt entered the dreaded airport. He slicked back his hair with those metal-filled hands. He looked so cool with that spike choker which looked so seductive and those Spandex pants which choked the living dead out of those cutie little dangling things. He waved at them, grinning in a way, which emphasized the sparkling tongue-ring.

Sakura felt extremely scorched. She wanted him, desired him, craved for him. She looked behind her just to be sure. The coast was clear. She couldn't take it anymore. "SYAORAN!"

The guy just kept on talking and waving and smiling. BUT no one was there to return him the greetings. Sakura stared at him.

Another trip to the bathroom of misery where all one talks to is the stinking urine.

All the while, Yukito was laughing his head off.

Hours later, a cherubic yet stupid face with chestnut hair wearing an old sweatshirt and a shabby jacket came running towards them, the luggage trailing behind him. He waved, and cried, "Sakura!"

"Who are you now? A drag queen?" Sakura said, sulking and not daring to face the new stranger who might be the cause of her third confrontation with the toilet, crammed up in a cubicle the size of a sardines can. But Sakura looked at the boy with the messy hair and dilapidated clothes, and knew HE was the one.

She jumped and shrieked for joy. "Syaoran!" She sped towards him; Yukito at her back.

The two squashed each other. Sakura wiped away her tears. "I'm so glad you're back, Syaoran! You have no idea how much I've gone through."

"Me, too, Sakura," the boy answered. He noticed Yukito watching him behind those glasses. "Hey, Yukito! Wazzup?"

"Welcome back, Li," Yukito greeted him, grinning. "I see you've changed a lot." Both Sakura and Syaoran didn't notice the hunger in his eyes.

"No, he didn't!" Sakura butted in.

"Shut up, Sakura!" Yukito barked and the girl whimpered.

Syaoran smiled, thrusting his chest out. "Actually, I have grown a lot. I could well say I'm a pretty big man. See?" He showed off his biceps.

Yukito nodded. "Yes, but you aren't man enough to face reality. You're only eighteen!" He chuckled.

Sakura studied him. Yes, Syaoran has really changed. His face became more MALE and his body leaner and tanned. Not to mention, he had become such an asshole.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Syaoran held her closer to his body. blush

"Sakura has changed, too, as I've observed," he said in a husky voice.

The girl felt her body heating up, remembering the night she spent with Eriol, his loving arms and kisses, and - she slapped herself. _Snap out of it, Sakura!_

_  
_"Sakura!" A voice jerked her awake. Syaoran's concerned face showed up. "Are you okay?"

Yukito stepped in between them and held the girl by the shoulders. "Sakura, Li was asking where Tomoyo is. Are you okay enough to tell him?"

"What?" Sakura blinked. She felt so stupid. Here she was, thinking of Eriol when Tomoyo was a hundred feet under the ground, cold and stinking. "Uh, yeah...She's dead."

"What!" Syaoran's voice boomed. "When? How? Why didn't you tell me?"

Sakura wouldn't let their eyes meet. As much as possible, she didn't want to relay the events from the beginning again. Everyone had been pressuring her during Tomoyo's death. It had been so hard, people asking this, arguing that. Then, there was the police, constantly watching her every move. She's not even saved by the walls of the bathroom from their prying eyes.

_Well, they should... _Somebody whispered. A gust of cold wind hit her.

_Who's that?_ Sakura looked around. Everything was blurry. She couldn't even see Syaoran or Yukito or the airport. _Shit! Now, I'm hallucinating… Just great!_

_  
You think you're hallucinating? Not!_ The mysterious voice answered.

"Oh, God!" Sakura cried. "It couldn't be possible!" She didn't know what was happening. But she was afraid. No, terrified. She screamed. She didn't know she startled the two guys who immediately calmed her down.

"I don't think this is the right time for you to ask about Tomoyo," Sakura heard Yukito say. "I'll just tell you what happened some other time."

Syaoran led the dumbfounded Sakura. "She must have had a hard time."

Yukito grabbed the boy's bags and hailed a taxi. "Yeah. As of now, I think you ought to rest. After that trip or something."

"Yeah!" Syaoran answered as they got in the cab. He looked at Sakura who was staring out the window. He pressed her hand gently. Sakura smiled at him and stared back at the window.

_Fake smile… What could have happened?_ He thought, wondering. He glanced at Yukito who was at the passenger's seat and his eyes turned dark. _You must have something to do with this…_ Even up to now, he still had some doubts about Yukito and his intentions.

Sakura tried to keep her mind in focus and pretend she was having a good time. _Shit, Syaoran! Don't even try to read my thoughts… You wouldn't live to hear even one-fourth of it._

TBC

a/n: hoo! I'm tingling all over! chappie 2 is up! I'll try to make this the yaoi part. Promise! R & R please! Don't worry, I practically embrace flames!

Not!


	2. Tomoyo Knows

Chapter II: Tomoyo Knows

Darkness – an empty void surrounding what once was a prism of colors. A lonely morbid place. Gothic in a sense. Lovely; so lovely and yet sad.

Sakura felt trapped in this Darkness. She couldn't wait to get out of this abyss… and yet a part of her wished to remain…to avoid Life and all its complexities… Tomoyo… she must rest! She must forget and live on! No, forget and die on… Forget Sakura… Forget Yukito, Aya, Li, Eriol… Eriol and his smile, embrace, kisses…

Suddenly, out of that Darkness, a hand began tp choke Sakura…choking her, depriving her of mortality, killing her… NO!

_Yes! Yes! Yes!_

No! The girl was turning blue; she gripped around to stop the perpetrator but only grasped NOTHING…

_Yes! Yes! Yes!_

No! she needed air… She was dying! All alone in this limbo…left to die alone!

_Yes! Like me!_

N-O!

"Noooo!!!" Sakura's eyes flew open. She sat up, gasping for breath, gently massaging her neck. Tomoyo? But… The girl looked around…studied the room she was in – the Queen-size bed she was plopped on, the Entertainment set by the corner, the many stuffed toys, the opened closet revealing the Sakura Costumes Collection, the camcorder on the side table…

Shit… What am I doing in Tomoyo's room?

She got up, heading for the door when she realized she was completely naked. What the hell is happening? Where's Syaoran and Yukito? And why am I nude?! Crimson filled her face as she hurriedly grabbed and put on some underwear and a sundress, grumbling at the situation she's in.

Quietly, she got out of the room and descended the spiral staircase. Nobody seemed to be in sight. She called, "Hello? Is anyone here?" She continued going down, listening for a sound, any sound…waiting for an answer.

No answer.

The living room seemed barren. Only lifeless figures presented themselves to the girl. The stereo had been playing some classical piece – that Beethoven sonata Tomoyo had always been raving about.

She touched the plush couch, remembering the times they've spent gorging on this same furniture, hands locked, hearts tied… Sakura felt a deep sense of regret. If only… No! It was right. I was right! The girl got up and left the spacious room.

Sakura walked towards the kitchen, hoping to find Tomoyo's mom and her cakes. The cakes. Yes, the only thing, which could make her feel better. Because of those cakes, she had met Tomoyo… She owed a lot to those cakes. But there was no Mrs. Daidouji. No cakes…but a rumbling sound from under the table.

"Mrs. D?" Sakura whispered, crouching down. "Mrs. D?" She called again, peering under the tablecloth, hoping to find Mrs. Daidouji…only to see Tomoyo crouching, consuming what looked like human mutilations.

Sakura could only gape at her in horror, watching the sanguine liquid trickling down her best friend's chin. She stared as Tomoyo showed her bloody teeth in a freaky grin, scaring the wits out of her.

Sakura couldn't move. It seemed as if she was glued on that spot. She wanted to cry yet the tears wouldn't flow. What's happening to you, Tomoyo? Have I really done this to you? Their staring game seemed endless…until Tomoyo held up what she had been eating – Eriol's familiar face jumped at her… the visage twisted in an impossible manner… Only then did Sakura realize Tomoyo had been devouring the remains of their friend – the cause of all these events.

Hallucinations… Yes, these are what they are! Sakura shut her eyes, as if closing them would miraculously unwind everything.

She heard Tomoyo's laugh – childlike, playful, eerie. She felt the corpse's soaked hands touch her cheeks, and an electric jolt rushed down her spine.

Tomoyo was so, so cold.

The ghost began to speak, not taking off her hands. "We were the best of friends, Sakura. I had you; you had me. We had everything! …And then Li came and took half of you away from me. But I could forgive him. He was your destiny. I couldn't argue with what the stars have charted… But Eriol had to come… First, deceiving me with his mortal body, only to find a way to take the remaining half of you…the half that was supposed to be mine!"

At this point, Tomoyo's hands had gripped Sakura's face tighter and her nails had dug deeper into her skin. Sakura had to force herself to stifle her screams as not to disturb Tomoyo's thoughts. Yet, her tears begun to betray her, and they fearlessly trickled down. This time, surrendering to Sorrow. "…And you willingly gave it to him… Sakura, I was so shocked. He was my fate…I was supposed to have him but he chose you! And even if you had Li, part of you still wanted him… you selfish bitch! Stop crying! You have no right to shed any tear at all!"

Sakura was wailing now as Tomoyo scratched, slapped, disfigured Sakura's face. Then, as if her patience had finally reached its limit, Sakura fought back, unleashing the emotions welling inside her. she opened her misty eyes and lashed at the supernatural being. Who are you to punish me? 

"I have all the right," Tomoyo took one step back and grinned. "And now you want to fight…Guilty, Sakura?"

The girl's eyes widened. How did she know? 

The ghost let out a freaky laugh. "Maybe you've forgotten, my ever dearest friend. I'm not human anymore… I know what you've been hiding…even what others have been hiding from you… Goodbye, Sakura."

With that, the place began to fill with smoke. Tomoyo had whisked away into oblivion…somewhere the living knows not about. But it is not yet the end. Sakura looked around, made sure her ex-friend wasn't lurking behind her. Her heartbeat doubled. Fear began to envelope her. It is not yet over. She will return…for revenge? I don't know. But one thing's certain… 

"Tomoyo knows…" Sakura murmured just as her body surrendered, collapsed on the marble floor, and entered the Darkness once again.

I must be careful… 


	3. Does Yukito Know?

Chapter III: Does Yukito Know?

Still cold…the chilly breeze seemed to carousel around me…trapping me in this feeling of…I dunno.

Stepping on the orange leaves of yesterday comforts me, bringing back memories of the West. Hearing the crispy sound beneath my feet helps me not to lose my sanity.

Yet, Sakura seems to be losing hers…

…..

Last night, Touya had called me, asking if Sakura and I had a fight. Without waiting for me to answer, he pleaded me to make things back to normal. My heart melted at Touya's tone – he seemed so anguished.

He told me the girl had been crying in her room…and then wildly screaming her lungs out, breaking things from the crashes he had heard. He had rushed to her room but Sakura kept it locked. And when he had gently asked for her to open the door and talk to him, Sakura, to his utter bewilderment, began to laugh…and said in a mocking voice, 'Oh, Touya…you better tell Dad…"

At that point, Touya had refused to tell me what his sister had said, hinting that somehow, Sakura managed to know something he had been keeping to himself for a long time…

After which, Sakura started to wail again…and he couldn't do anything to help her. There were no keys left in the house. Their father was out for a month-long seminar, and stupidly, no contact numbers were left.

…..

I heard the rustle of the trees, and inwardly smiled. The park always calms me…soothes me in times like these.

A lot has been going on with Sakura… I hadn't expected this kind of welcome. In London, life was a ball…fun, excitement, and happiness. Here, everything is so chaotic.

How I wish, ache, to help her yet this is something beyond reason, beyond sanity. This is something only Sakura has to fight and overcome herself.

But I want to know more.

Maybe Yukito could tell me something…

…..

Normal POV

Syaoran pressed Yukito's doorbell, hoping to find the answers behind that door. There was a lot that he had missed, and he was deeply confused.

The door opened, revealing Yukito, stripped to the waist, just got out from the shower, and _gawd, did he look sexy!_

_Now, I know why Sakura had been salivating over him,_ the boy thought.

"Li?" Yukito asked, obviously surprised at the visit. "What're you doing here?"

"I want to clear my head," the boy replied.

Yukito invited him in, and said, "Why don't you sit down for a moment while I change?" He smiled and left Syaoran in the living room.

Syaoran sat down and looked around. Yukito was definitely a weird guy. Lavender walls and orange carpeting? Sheesh…and lots and lots of mirrors in different shapes and sizes everywhere. Not to mention the huge candles at every corner of the room. _This guy is freaking me out,_ he thought, rising and studying the photos on a drawer. Photos of Yukito, of Aya and him…of other men…and one of Sakura and their class…

That's when Li discovered that in that picture, Eriol's and his face were encircled. _What the - ?_ he thought, shocked.

"Sakura encircled those." A voice said. Yukito!

Syaoran guiltily faced him and grinned sheepishly…and surprised shit out of himself at Yukito's state. All the older man changed into was a pair of boxers!

Yukito must have noticed the astonishment in Li's face as he chuckled and said, "Hope you don't mind…" he plopped on one of the chairs and faced Syaoran. "So… What do you wanna know, Li?"

Syaoran looked at him squarely, and answered, "What really happened?"

"Tomoyo killed herself…"

"I know!" The boy retorted. "But why?"

"You really wanna know?"

Syaoran nodded. Yes, Yukito was giving him the truth.

"Could you take what I'm about to show you?"

Syaoran gulped, and nodded again.

"C'mon…" Yukito got up and headed towards his bedroom. He looked back at Li and motioned for him to follow.

Yukito's bedroom was really unique. Lava lights, grotesque paintings, and white rose petals all over the twin beds. Everything was white – pure, untouched, fresh, innocent.

_Innocent? I don't think so,_ Syaoran thought as he spotted a sleeping figure on one of the beds. He slowly walked towards it.

Yukito sat on a loveseat and observed Syaoran, anticipating the boy's reaction if he knew that the sleeping person on the bed was…

"Eriol!" Syaoran exclaimed, loud enough for Yukito to hear and soft enough not to awaken his friend.

Confusion…Anger…Hurt…Scandal…were written on his face as he stared at Yukito's grinning visage and back at Eriol's calm sleep. _I never thought…Yukito – gay! How could he do this to Eriol? Wait, did Eriol allow this to happen? Is this the reason why Tomoyo committed suicide? Because Eriol was sleeping with a guy!_

He half-screamed at Yukito, pointing to the other boy. "What did you do to him?"

Yukito remained unruffled. He grinned and replied, "Exactly what he did to Sakura…"

That hit Li's face like a 100-ton arrow pierced through his body. The pain was far more destructive than he realized. He had sought for the truth, craved for it, and got it as he wished for.

"You're lying…" he spoke, not daring to see Yukito's eyes…not daring to see the truth in those eyes.

"You're lying you're lying you're lying…"he murmured again and again. But deep inside, he knew the other guy wasn't lying at all.

Li felt weak, and he dropped to the floor, misty-eyed and everything. "How could Sakura do this to me?"

Yukito knelt beside Syaoran and comforted him in an embrace. He hadn't wanted to be the one to reveal this to him. But he had to.

He tightened his grip, feeling the boy's tears on his shoulder. And when he didn't expect it the most, Li returned his embrace.

"Hush now, Li," he whispered. "You don't have to endure all this suffering…Let me comfort you."

Ever so gently, Yukito cupped the boy's face and pressed his lips against his.

Heat surged through Li's body… _No!_ His mind was shouting. _This is wrong!_ But his body acted the opposite; his mouth curiously giving in to Yukito's warm tender lips.

A throaty moan escaped from Li as Yukito's tongue probed his, and as the older boy's hands began to travel all over his torso, popping buttons open, laying him down on the floor.

Syaoran's tongue snaked to catch Yukito's…wanting more of his sweet candy taste.

Excitedly, he touched Yukito's now sweaty body, feeling the tightening of the guy's muscles.

As Yukito continued to attack his mouth, Syaoran slid his fingers inside, lower and lower, fascinating himself, reaching for the hidden treasure…and when he got hold of his target, he felt Yukito's groan in his mouth, reverberating through his body.

Trembling, he grasped the hard shaft, feeling his own go erect, and wondered at its size. _Could I really have done this to Yukito?_ He thought in disbelief.

Just as he was about to massage the older boy's manhood, Yukito broke free from Li's possessive lips, surprising the boy who guiltily released Yukito's erection. With closed eyes, Yukito's mouth ran down Syaoran's neck, playfully nuzzling the soft flesh there. His lips traveled downwards, reaching Li's breast and flicking his tongue at a rock-hard nipple, causing the boy to jerk. He caught it with his mouth began to suck it gently as if it were a tiny prick, happily hearing Syaoran's satisfied groans. To double the pleasure, he rubbed the other nipple with his hands and Syaoran arched forward, begging for more.

"More…more…" Syaoran cried, pleaded. He had never felt this before. Yes, he wasn't a virgin anymore but this is the first time he was devirginized by a man…and as sinful as it may seem, he loved it.

Yukito's mouth snaked lower now, worshipping the taste Li's navel had to offer…His hands unzipping zippers, removing pants, tearing underwear. He looked at Syaoran's erect manhood lovingly, setting his eyes on his aching need. With no moment's hesitation, he devoured it with his velvet mouth, feeling it grow as he deepthroated him. Li's hands gripped his hair, urging him deeper…and he did, teasing the tip and lapping hungrily at his balls. So young, so fresh… _How long I've dreamt for this to happen! And now, he's giving himself to me willingly…_ Yukito thought, continuing to lick Syaoran, sucking his manhood, slurping the creamy texture slowly oozing out. _Nothing could get more erotic than this, _he thought, his own dick longing for release, aching for Li's mouth to kiss him there, too…

…..

The two, so engaged in their lovemaking/balls-fondling/dick-sucking hadn't noticed the hard pounding at the door. On the other side of the room, Sakura was shouting her head off, "Yukito! Yukito!"

Of course, not one of them could hear her. Who could? When you're in the middle of pleasuring your deepest fantasy? And him giving back that passion?

The girl was on the brink of surrendering when she remembered that Yukito had told her where he kept the spare key – under the rug. A smile formed playfully in her lips as she seized the key.

…..

Both of them, Yukito and Syaoran, still didn't hear the sound of the door creaking open or the footsteps heading for Yukito's unlocked room… both still drowning in their desire…

Yet, how ironic it had been, that they did hear the faintest of gasps drawn from Sakura's lips…

A/n: reviews anybodee!


	4. I Didn't Know

Chapter IV:I Didn't Know

Eriol yawned, stretching his arms up. He was awake now, refreshed for the day. He sat up, and rubbing his eyes, called for Yukito.

He looked around the room. He was alone. He laughed and said in a loud voice, "Hey, where are you? I can still feel your jism in my ass, you!"

Sighing, he got out of the bed, not bothering to dress up… how he regretted that!

Sakura and Syaoran were in the living room with serious looks on their faces, and Yukito was in the middle, no expression on his face. Sakura's eyes were red and puffy and her lips were slightly quivering… What shocked Eriol more was seeing Yukito and Li completely nude!

"Damn…" He muttered under his breath. _They must've done it, too…_ he glanced guiltily at Sakura. _And she must've caught them accidentally… Now seeing me!_ He gulped. _We're all dead._

"Eriol, sit down…" Yukito ordered in a grave voice. Eriol obeyed and sat across Sakura. The older boy continued. "We're here to settle the score…as it is what everyone here wants."

No one spoke.

A weird moment to be telling the truth, confessing all your lies… An awkward moment to be breaking your shield…in front of nude people and being undressed yourself…in front of the girl you loved…the boy you respected…the man you wanted…

Since no one seemed to want to, Yukito started. "Eriol and I had been spending nights together ever since we knew each other… as if some sort of magnet attracted us. We were experimenting, and to our surprise, the exercise lifted up our spirits and soothed our nerves. We see each other often when we have problems… and both of us willingly help the other feel better.

"And then, we started sharing secrets…our physical relationship moving towards something deeper… and that's when I knew Eriol had feelings for Sakura. I don't know how but he managed to keep her trust and eventually get her to bed…"

At this, Syaoran sucked in his breath.

Eriol interrupted. "It was human of both Sakura and me… Tomoyo didn't want to be touched and Li was miles away from home."

"Surprisingly, Tomoyo knew about my night with Sakura and my emotions for her…" Eriol continued. "I don't know who told her." He glanced quickly at Yukito's direction.

"I did," Sakura said, expressionless.

They looked at her. Eriol finished, ignoring Sakura's remark. "So I left her house and decided to call our relationship quits the next day… until she killed herself."

"I remember that night, Tomoyo called me to come over so we'll be settling things once and for all…" Sakura piped in. "I believed her. I wanted to get it over with but she tricked me. She opened my eyes to some truths I didn't want to believe then…"

Sakura's eyes cut deep through Eriol's and Syaoran's. "Tomoyo told me Eriol was sleeping with Yukito… and that Syaoran had slept with her the night before he left Japan…"

_She knows…_ Syaoran thought, his head throbbing with guilt.

"It was painful!" Sakura lashed at them. "My heart was torn between you both but you two aren't the people I used to know… You proved yourselves unworthy of me… And then, knowing the person I trusted was involved in this…" She shot a look at Yukito, who unlike Eriol and Li, looked back at her. "…made things worse," her voice trailed off.

Silence and then…

"My head was spinning then!" Sakura spoke, now as if caught in a wild frenzy. "I heard voices from the back of my head, tempting me to…to do something the real Sakura would never do…" She paused, and in a thunderous voice, shouted, "I killed Tomoyo!"

She was laughing now, cackling with utmost pleasure as she described to the men how she oh-so-perfectly ended her best friend's life. "All I had to use was a Card."

Syaoran gaped at her. _This is not good… this is not Sakura! The evil side of the Cards has possessed her…_ He glanced at Eriol who glanced back at him. Both boys understood the situation…and they couldn't do anything about it.

"It's too late," Yukito spoke mournfully, as he continued to stare hopelessly at nothing, accepting defeat. He looked at both boys. "I was glad to be part of your lives."

"I love you, Sakura!" Eriol and Syaoran both said at the same time. So, so ironic…

"Well," Sakura replied. "I didn't know." So, so sarcastic…

"We have all sinned…" The girl whispered, her bloodshot eyes fiercely burning through them. "Because of this, we should all die."

Swiftly, she took out the revolver she was hiding in her back, and without giving them a chance to explain or escape; she shot them all, sparing no one.

She took one last glance at the three bloody lifeless bodies and said, "I loved you, too… See you all in hell."

Sakura aimed the pistol in her mouth, and with no hesitation or regret, pulled the trigger.

…..

Everything was silent.

Yukito, Eriol, Li Syaoran were gone.

Kinomoto Sakura was no more.

As her body lay, swimming in all her sins, Tomoyo came, snaking towards her. She smiled and happily drank the corpse's blood.

All I ever wanted… 

A/n: Aaaahhhh! I am so done! Hope you guys like it… and please, REVIEWS! If you don't like it, pls say so… no, I won't change it… I'm a morbid human being and you can't stop me! If you want part two or have new ideas or something like that, pls don't hesitate to say so…


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